"What to Tell Your Depressed Friend"

This list comes from Dr. Hendrie Weisinger on what to do or not do for a friend who needs someone to talk to about their depressed state.  He begins the article by talking about a situation in which he needed to give up doing something that he wanted to do in order to help his friend out.  As he puts it: "Help your friends when they are depressed, my friend!"

Here is his list of what not to do:

1. Don't try to be strong for your friend by telling him to "pull himself up by the bootstraps and be tough." Watch what you say despite your good intentions, because you will tend to say the wrong thing many times and be discouraging.
2. Don't get so involved and frustrated by your friend's seeming lack of optimism and confidence that you wind up arguing with your friend -- especially about what he should and should not do.
3. Do not join your depressed friend in his depression -- remember that depression is contagious and that your friend's feelings are not your feelings.

Here is his list of what to do:

1. Maintain warm, caring relationship free from hostility and tension.
2. Learn to cope with the hardships that relating frequently with a depressed person can impose such as the tendency to be lured into destructive criticism and arguments about your friend's passivity.
3. Learn what depression is -- a clinical disorder that is not something someone turns "on" or "off" and may be triggered by an event but becomes a brain chemistry disorder separate from that event.

 Article

Depression Cartoon

This cartoon illustrates different viewpoints on life; the scene above is reality, while the scene below depicts how life appears when one is depressed.  Cartoon done by my friend Christine.

I apologize for the poor scan.

Mental Health Month

The month of May has been designated as Mental Health Month for the past 52 years.  Every year Mental Health America comes out with campaigns during the month of May to promote the wellbeing of people living with mental health conditions.  The focus this year is on youth and social connectedness in order to help with depression.  Two new slogans were also introduced: "Do More for 1 in 4" and "Live Well! It's Essential for Your Potential"

Here's what Mental Health America has to say about their slogans:

"Do More for 1 in 4 is a call to action to help the 1 in 4 American adults who live with a diagnosable, treatable mental health condition and the fact that they can go on to live full and productive lives."

"Live Well! It's Essential for Your Potential, focuses on the importance of mental wellness and the steps everyone can take to improve their well-being and resiliency in the face of difficult times and challenges. Mental Health America's Live Your Life Well program offers ten science-based tools to manage stress and help you relax, grow and flourish."

Mental Health Month 2011

Live Your Life Well Program

Depression and Relationships

Depression can be extremely hard on one person, so obviously adding another person into the equation, or already having a partner when depression sets in, can make the situation even harder.  As mentioned in an earlier post, people with depression benefit from close relationships that can support them.  However, depression puts a strain on these close relationships, especially if they are romantic relationships.  A depressed person often seems to lose interest in things and losing interest in a relationship is often viewed by the other partner as a loss in commitment.  This typically causes conflict, which can result in a worsening of the depression, ending in a vicious cycle for the relationship.

In order to avoid this terrible spiral downward for relationships, here are some lists with steps that each partner can take in order to cope with the depression.  In a relationship each partner must take on the struggles of the other person for a healthy relationship.   The person in the relationship with a depressed partner must take steps to help the relationship as well as the partner with depression.

These steps are provided by:
Article 1
Article 2

If you’re experiencing symptoms of depression:

1. Share your feelings with your partner as much as possible.  Your reluctance to talk about how you feel only creates distance between you and your loved one.  It’s especially important to keep the lines of communication open during trying times

2. Let your partner know that you still find him or her attractive.  An affectionate touch and a few reassuring words can mean a lot, even if you don’t feel inclined toward more intimate relations.

3. Consider couples or family counseling.  Your willingness to talk about your relationship and how it may be affected by depression speaks volumes to family members and loved ones about their importance in your life.

4. Make the effort to have a cuddle.  If you do this, you may both feel a lot better. Touch and closeness can keep a relationship intact.

5. Try to go for a walk every day, preferably with your partner.

If you're in a relationship with someone experiencing depression:

1. Remember, your role is to offer support and encourage your loved one to seek professional help.  Encourage your partner not to settle for partial improvement and explain that with the right treatment, people with depression can regain their lives.

2. Recognize that depression is not rational.  It is painful to be rejected, scorned, or ignored, but this may be how your loved one responds to your efforts to help.

3. Care for yourself.  Carve out time to pursue your own interests and to socialize even when your partner can’t join you.  You might also want to consider seeking individual counseling.

4. Don't keep saying that you understand what your partner is going through. You don’t. Instead say: 'I can't know exactly how you're feeling, but I am trying very hard to understand and help'.

5. Many people who are depressed lose interest in sex. Try to remember that this loss of interest is probably not personal, but connected with the illness.

6. Don't despair. Some days you'll feel your love for your partner and other days won't seem to make any difference to them at all. But hang on in there. Your love and constant support should be of great help in persuading your partner of his or her value.

National Institute of Mental Health Explains Depression

The caption they provide pretty much sums up the video:

"Video from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) about the causes, symptoms, and treatments of depression."

Finding Help

If reducing depression is not working, it is advised to find a mental health service that will help out.  There are comprehensive services all across the country.  SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) provides a free mental health service locator.

It can be found here.

Reducing Depression

If you're dealing with mild depression, there are some practical things you can do to lift your mood.

1. Get some rest and relaxation. Be sure you are getting plenty of sleep and are taking time to stop and smell the flowers.

Article 1

"The relationship between sleep and depressive illness is complex – depression may cause sleep problems and sleep problems may cause or contribute to depressive disorders. For some people, symptoms of depression occur before the onset of sleep problems. For others, sleep problems appear first."

Article 2

"If you're recovering from depression, it's crucial to take time to relax. But vegging out in front of the TV doesn't count as relaxation. Try: listening to soothing music, taking a walk, taking a long bath, yoga, breathing exercises, massage, or simply scheduling downtime."

Article 3 (Online Relaxation Techniques)

"Without the ability to relax, chronic stress or anxiety can lead to burnout, anger, irritability, depression, medical problems, and more."

2. Junk the junk food. Sure, that sugar high feels good, but when you go through detox a couple of hours after later, you can feel terrible.

Article 1

"Depression and diet may be related. Some preliminary research suggests that having a poor diet can make you more vulnerable to depression. The good news is that the people who ate a diet rich in fruits, vegetables and fish were less likely to report being depressed."

3. Abstain from alcohol. Alcohol is known to aggravate a depressed mood.

Article 1

"Family history of depression or alcoholism puts a person at greater risk for developing either illness. You should know that while alcohol often causes a “good mood” at first, it is a depression-causing drug."

4.Energize with exercise. Runner's high is caused by an increase in endorphins--the feel-good brain chemicals. But you don't have to run a marathon to get the same mood-lifting feeling. Try taking a walk around the block or walking the dog for 10 or 15 minutes. You'll feel good the rest of the day.

Article 1

"Regular exercise has been proven to help: reduce stress, ward of anxiety and feelings of depression, boost self-esteem, and improve sleep. Research has shown that exercise is an effective but often underused treatment for mild to moderate depression."

5. Focus on friends and family. Leaning on others is one of the healthiest things you can do to get through a tough time in your life.

Article 1

"Families do better than patients at recognizing depression and mania. Depression disrupts family life, yet families can be major forces of care, comfort, even cure."

Article 2

"She [Julie Totten, head of Families for Depression Awareness] says it can be a big problem convincing family members with depression to get help. "Expect them to say 'no,' " she says."Then keep working at it, get other people involved, because if someone is depressed their first answer is going to be no, they don't want to do anything because they're feeling so down."

6. Learn to laugh. Laughing actually triggers the same endorphins that are affected by exercise.

Article 1

"Laughter stimulates our endocrine system, including the pituitary gland. The pituitary gland, in turn, stimulates release of endorphins and enkephalins, natural painkillers that are chemical cousins to opiates such as morphine and heroin."

7. Think happy thoughts. A recent study found that people who learn to have a more optimistic attitude are less likely to become depressed--even if they were naturally pessimists. Changing the way you perceive life can have a dramatic affect on your mental health.

Article 1

"Researchers followed 5,634 Australian 12- and 13-year olds for 18 months, asking them about their psychological state, substance abuse, and antisocial behavior. The more optimistic the students were, the less likely they were to become depressed."

Article 2

"Although an overly optimistic view of the future sometimes leads to underestimating risks and making unrealistic plans, “a moderate optimistic illusion” appears to be essential for maintaining motivation and good mental health."

This list was found here, with the supporting articles added by me.

What Is Depression?

I'll be the first to admit that the man in the video is kind of boring with his monotone-voice and general seemingly uninterested manner on the subject, but the information presented is worth a listen.

Rising Stress Levels

Considering that my spring break has just begun and I am gone on vacation, I haven't had much time to update the blog.  For this I apologize and, at least for me, it makes me sad.  I enjoy updating at least once a week (hopefully more).  However, I have found some time to post up an article I have found on rising stress levels in college students.  It focuses mainly on economic worries for students and their families while they are attending college.  For those of you looking for help, there is a great list of small things to do on the left side of the page.  My next post will focus on these stress / depression management techniques and will support them with articles from around the web, so that's something to look forward to.

The article can be found here.

Mental Health Screening

More findings about mental illness is presented in a site created by the State of New York by their Office of Mental Health.  The information under the heading "Findings" gives more statistics and once again stating that mental health screenings should be provided.  Moving down to the heading "Voluntary Mental Health Screening for College Students", they begin to talk about how the internet is popular among this age group and should be used more often for mental screenings.  A site called ULifeline connects students to their college's counseling center based around the anonymity of the internet.  Calvin College is not yet set up with ULifeline, a fact that I hope to change within the next couple months.  For those of you not at Calvin College, simply click on the Students button and find your school.

Find the Article Here.

More Mental Illnesses ... Equals Less Funding?

NPR recently reported about the fact that depression is on the rise amongst college students.  However, it goes on to talk about how even though many colleges have counseling centers, many of them seem to be understaffed or work at limited hours.  This creates a problem for those who seek help, since effective counseling helps students tremendously.  The link also contains the morning edition report, a short 4.5 minute listen.

NPR Summary and Broadcast

A recent report in the Los Angeles Times echos this finding in the headline "Colleges Urged to Screen More for Depression".  An obvious result of increases in depression would be to screen more in students to find and detect the early symptoms.  The stress and anxiety upon entering college can be overwhelming for some students and help for these students is critical.

""Depression screening is easy to do," Fleming said. "We know it works, and it can save lives."
Fleming's study is one of a number of recent reports to note a rise in the number of college students diagnosed with depression and other conditions that seem to indicate an overall decline in their emotional state. "

Full Article

Sadly, at the present time, although depression is on the rise, states are feeling the economic crunch and cutting mental health budgets.  This blog does not aim to take a political stance, so here are the facts.  For Michigan, the mental health budget has decreased by $24.5 million in the past three years, a -7.9% change.  For other states or more information please click the link below.

State Mental Health Budgets

A Quick Test and a Few Statistics

With further research into depression, it becomes more and more obvious that this problem is quite large.  Statistics on depression are incredibly surprising in the fact that it is rampant, and despite much knowledge about the illness, tends to go largely untreated.  If you or anyone you know has even the slightest thought that you/they may have a depression problem :: See Depression Information in the previous post for common symptoms :: I suggest taking a screening test.

Depression Screening Test

Depression Statistics:

• 25 percent of college students suffer from some form of diagnosable mental illness.
• 44 percent of American college students reported feeling symptoms of depression.
• About 19 percent of young people contemplate or attempt suicide each year.
• 80 percent of young people that contemplate or attempt suicide exhibit clear warning signs.
• Suicide is the second leading cause of death in college students ages 20-24.
• Over two-thirds of young people do not talk about or seek help for mental health problems.

(all statistics found here)

Depression Information From The University of Michigan

The University of Michigan is one of the most prestigious schools in which to get a degree in Psychology.  Logically, then, it makes sense that they should have one of the best websites dedicated to the treatment of mental disorders.  However, when I actually went to the site and began browsing and perusing the information they had, it was more than I thought it could be.  The main site is called Campus Mind Works and I highly recommend browsing the site on your own.

For the purpose of this site, however, here are a couple links directly connected to depression.  The site provides a wonderful overview of what depression is along with common symptoms.

Depression Information

It also provides a large amount of information based around the treatment of mental disorders.  Overviews of treatments including medications, psychotherapy, and brain stimulation are covered.  Resources for further information (simply choose the 'depression' option) are at the bottom.  These resources include organizations, other websites, and interesting books.  These resources are so good that I may feature some of them here later on.

Treatment Options

The Truth About Suicide: Real Stories of Depression in College

An interesting video that I have looked into is called "The Truth About Suicide: Real Stories of Depression in College".  The video was made by The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) and contains stories from people who have either tried committing suicide or know of someone who has.  The stories are emotional and show sadness that both leads to suicide and the sadness that suicide causes for those still alive.

Information about the video can be found here.

The video apparently circulates around colleges and universities, so I will try to get the video to Calvin.  Hopefully if this works out I will be able to show the movie at a special showing for anyone who would like to see it.  If not, there are short snipits online that show a very small portion of the video.

A clip can be found here.

The Purpose Of This Blog

This blog aims to educate people about depression, especially college students and their parents.  As a college student myself, I find it important that people realize how widespread depression is amongst 20-24 year olds.  I intend to provide links to interesting websites, reviews of books or films dealing with depression, upcoming dates for speeches and presentations, and much more.  I hope that if you or someone you know is dealing with depression, that this site is beneficial.